If you’ve stopped by, you probably noticed my outdated and semi-abandoned blog. I’ve sorely neglected my little slice of cyber real estate.
Why disregard something that made me happy? I lost my inspiration and I just haven’t been able to find it.
If we could press the rewind button on life for a moment…In April, I returned from Kilimanjaro where I obtained the number one missing stamp in my passport. I was eager to share my adventures. I was so eager to share my adventures I made arrangements to do some guest writing. I wrote two excellent stories –totally biased but they were GOOD- about preparing for Kilimanjaro and what’s like to climb the highest free standing mountain in Africa. I submitted them, eager for some affirmation of the work, eager to know when they would be published and how many photos were needed to accompany the each story.
I waited. I waited some more. I followed-up. And then I waited…and waited…and honestly, I’m still waiting nine months later.
Okay, I’m not literally waiting any more. I totally gave up.
At first my ‘never accept no for answer’ mentality kicked. I looked around for other opportunities. Nothing seemed like the fit or the bloggers said they weren’t interested in guest content.
While I was looking around for other opportunities, I started to notice how much sponsored content exists in world of travel. Honestly, I think it’s everywhere. We just tend to notice things more when it’s a topic or subject we are passionate about. The one that sent me off into the deep end was a travel post about avocados. Yes, the Avocado Board of Mexico wanted you to share your favorite travel stories over recipes that include avocados.
I really try to abide by a philosophy where I respect another person’s feelings, right to earn a living and have their own views, even if I might personally disagree. And on this, I disagreed. I couldn’t see the passion, the joy, or frankly the connection to travel. That ‘take no prisoners’ mentality that was just at my fingertips suddenly slipped. Now it was an arms length away and moving further as the days passed.
Then, life happened. First, there were family health woes. Stressful, but everyone survived and is great. Then there was work. It just wasn’t materializing the way clients committed. Then, my amazing canine companion passed away. He came into my life when he was three and we had some fantastic adventures. Caring for him in his twilight years was an ongoing joy and total pain in the ass. But saying goodbye was horrible. I’m still very sad and feel ridiculous sharing with people. And, in case you were wondering, losing someone (human or animal companion) does wonders when it comes to inspiring your writing. That’s sarcasm, by the way. The hits kept coming, too, that but those stories aren’t mine to share yet. Suffice to say, I had to step up to the plate big time in a caretaker capacity.
After months of waiting for the something… hello?…inspiration fairy?…I still have nothing. And in the interim all the little things that were just annoying are suddenly 10-foot high hurdles: I hate the design of my blog, why can’t I find a design that matches the vision in my head? How do you write about travel when you are marooned in one location? Can you be credible? How do you write when it’s your own experience, not paid content? I don’t have the answer but it’s easy to see how sometimes, the mind is a terrible thing to be alone with.
This probably begs the question: why exactly am I hear being all ‘woe is me’?
In January I swapped my annual goals for Three Words. (The idea came from Chris Brogan and you can read about it 3 Words.) Goals were still too scary and overwhelming. But three words to guide me seemed a little more my speed this year. One of my words is write.
I’m still figuring out how to make this work when I feel lackluster and uninspired. I don’t have the answer. But, if you stuck with me this long, maybe you’ll stick around to see what’s next?